Monday, August 31, 2009
Luxury or civility
The other day in church, a lady who has been here for many years remarked that new migrants are unwilling to turn up the heating in the house to save money. Well, that just shouldn't be. She said.
We drive Toyota; one of our friends, another migrant of many years, commented that it's "standard new migrant's configuration".
Another migrant sniggered at the kia-su attitude of Asian parents in giving their kids loads of tuition.
We look down on some who don't queue; or those who rush to get into the lift by elbowing everyone out.
On the other hand, Belinda told me of foreign dentists working as training dental nurses, trying to scramble enough money to sit for their dental qualifying exam by doing jobs that pay next to nothing. Both husband and wife work for three to four years to save up enough money for one of them to sit for the exam. Passing rate? Less than 15%. And they are here with only a temporary work visa.
I learned this lesson whilst in China. I commented that the locals did not bother to queue. The tour guide told me quietly that living is not easy, and competition is fierce in almost every area. If you don't fight for it, you won't even have meals on your table.
That set me thinking - and set me feeling ashamed of myself. Bottom line is, some of the things we consider as civility is a luxury to many.
Many new migrants here cannot find a job, even after many years; and everything here is expensive, especially after so much initial spending to settle in. Can they afford day-round heating? Can they afford any other cars that the reliable, low maintenance, cheap cars?
Can kids in Asia take a relax attitude towards their studies? Even some of the best don't get to do what they want to do. They are faced not only with competitions from other kids, but also an unfair system that discriminate against them on the basis of skin colour. How can they be lax?
In this place, we are laid back on many things, and civil in many more other. To us, these are blessings; to the vast majority, these are luxury. They are not what set us apart as better than others, they are what we should share with those who cannot afford them.
Happy Birthday
Happy birthday Malaysia, .... and Alvin.
Today, of course, is Merdeka day. I found out from my facebook that the celebration is muted this year. Don't know why. There is hardly anything here, except the freshness of our memory, and our mutual reminder inside the family that kept this day Merdeka Day.
My brother's birthday is a day after Merdeka Day. We gathered yesterday over dinner to celebrate his and his wife's birthdays - the two birthdays are days apart.
We have had a good time together. The food was glorious, especially the dessert. For once, the topic of conversation did not quite touch on Malaysian politics.
It still hurts to read many news about Malaysia, sometimes. We may not physically be at home, but home is still pretty much within us.
My birthday wish for my brother and sister-in-law is that they can quickly find their dream house that they can afford.
My birthday wish for Malaysia is that she will be healed, made whole, and once again, celebrate the wealth, richness and strength of her diversity, in tolerance and harmony.
Happy birthday, Alvin.
Happy birthday, Malaysia.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Collecting rent from children
I was in a wedding dinner some months ago when a friend commented that he just could never understand how can parents collect rent from their own children who are staying at home.
Well, I didn't understand it either until last night.
After our usual fortnight Bible study, we were sitting down over supper chit-chatting. With parents together, the topic of conversation quickly shifted to children - teenage children.
The lament was that these kids have no regards for money, or resources. Part time job comes easy - and a 16 year-old could earn eight or nine Aussie dollar an hour. For a weekend job of 8 hours, that's close to 250 Aussie dollar a month - besides money that the government pays. For an 18 year-old they could earn even more. With all the bills paid by the parents, this is free cash that they can spend on anything they like.
So the parents complained that some of these children spend their money on expensive mobile phones, party, and some even on drinks and drug. One parent lamented that some teenagers have no idea of stewardship of money - and they would waste almost anything and everything.
Insisting that they pay some of the bills perhaps is a good idea to instill a sense of good stewardship, and sense of financial accountability and responsibility in these teenagers.
Perhaps I should consider collecting rent from my children once they reach 18 if they still stay with me.
Well, I didn't understand it either until last night.
After our usual fortnight Bible study, we were sitting down over supper chit-chatting. With parents together, the topic of conversation quickly shifted to children - teenage children.
The lament was that these kids have no regards for money, or resources. Part time job comes easy - and a 16 year-old could earn eight or nine Aussie dollar an hour. For a weekend job of 8 hours, that's close to 250 Aussie dollar a month - besides money that the government pays. For an 18 year-old they could earn even more. With all the bills paid by the parents, this is free cash that they can spend on anything they like.
So the parents complained that some of these children spend their money on expensive mobile phones, party, and some even on drinks and drug. One parent lamented that some teenagers have no idea of stewardship of money - and they would waste almost anything and everything.
Insisting that they pay some of the bills perhaps is a good idea to instill a sense of good stewardship, and sense of financial accountability and responsibility in these teenagers.
Perhaps I should consider collecting rent from my children once they reach 18 if they still stay with me.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Blessed
Kids these days are pretty blessed. We just celebrated my nephew's 5th birthday in an Italian restaurant. There were pasta, pizza, balloons, flourless chocolate cake (now, don't ask me how does one make cake without flour), presents and many more.
My nephew is an active guy; his parents gave up much to move over here for his future. He is a happy bloke, but I don't think he understands how much his parents sacrifice for him for the many many years to come.
And as parents, we complain. We complain that the kids these days have things too good. We complain that they take these good things, these sacrifices for granted. We complain that too much of a good thing make them go soft. We complain that they are complacent. We complain they don't understand, and they have not seen enough pain, suffering and hunger. We complain that they are spoilt.
But then again, are we any different. If God is our Parent, our Father, have we not spoilt by Him as well. Compare to my parents' generation, how much of pain, suffering, hunger that I have seen? How much of their sacrifices do I not take for granted? How tough am I compare to them? How much do I understand - or even spend time thinking - of what they have given me?
The difference is, of course, in spite of all the complaints I have of my kids, God has not complained about me.
Perhaps there's where we should start - ourselves.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Of coming and going
Having been here only two weeks, I am fortunate to meet up with many Malaysians who have migrated over the past few years. Some have been here long - a full time worker who preached in the church I attended has been here for 40 years; some have been here shorter, from 5 - 6 years to only a year or two.
And when we get together, almost invariably, the topics of discussion focuses on a few things; on Malaysian politics, and on their adopted country. There are many who are most convinced that coming here was the very right thing to do; and they are glad. There are also those who are not so sure. There are also some who have taken a U turn and have gone back to Malaysia, or their home countries. The problem is, of course, we have a selection bias here - we don't get to meet those who have gone back. So those who are here are all the more convinced that they have made the right decision.
The fact is, of course, there is no heaven on earth. There is always the give and take; the advantages and disadvantages, the pros and the cons.
And this just spell out the fact that migration, moving to a new place, does not solve all our problems. We are exchanging one set of problems for another. It is not for me to judge whether it is a right thing or otherwise for those who stay and for those who have, like ourselves, have moved. But I believe, right down underneath, probably almost everyone would agree that moving does not solve all the problems.
What are the problems here? Firstly, apart from cars, things are expensive here. For example, internet connection charges, telephone charges etc are far more expensive here than home. Labour cost is expensive. Secondly, the weather takes some getting use to. Thirdly, the culture takes some getting use to, too. Thirdly, many of us suffer from career downgrading. The lucky ones find job, though not at the level they have had at home. The less lucky ones could be out of work for years. This is above the problems of moving the whole family from one part of the world to another. Fourthly, teenagers grow up differently. Now we can all debate about cultural norms and what is good or better; but every parent wants his or her children to grow up to be useful members of the society, to be happy, to contribute positively to the society and to be a blessing to those around them. Finally, who knows what would happen in future? What I mean is this - no one can predict what would happen to the future of a country. Back in the 1990s, straight after the Tiananmen Square incidents, my mainland Chinese friends here swore that they would never ever return to China. Well, many of them have since returned with the almost miraculous economic growth of the country. Who knows what would happen to Malaysia, and who knows what would happen to the country we are moving to? The first big wave of migration out of Malaysia probably occurred in the early 1970s after the May 13th incidence. The worry was another racial riot. Well, at least after one generation this has not happened. The second wave occurred during the 1980s when Malaysian economy suffered badly. Well, not everyone who came found job here, and I know of people who have to move back, and in fact did better at home. The third wave was probably during the 1990s when PAS looked set to take over the country. PAS has not done that, at least not as yet. So, who can tell what will happen?
The good things? Well, you probably don't need me to tell you this. And, it is not the purpose for me writing this. The purpose is to debunk the myth that getting out solves all our problems.
On the other hand, after meeting those who have come here, I don't see why we should be upset with them - and us included. The biggest issue is probably - and I hope I read this right - that we are not patriotic enough, and that somehow by leaving the country we have betrayed the country, the people and leave others who can't get out to "suffer". But then again, are we not migrants even in Malaysia? Would I blame my grandparents as unpatriotic? Should I return to China to undo their act of betrayal? No, my excuse or reason is that God has put me here in Malaysia. By extension of that belief, I would have to believe that God brought my grandparents to Malaysia to put me here; otherwise I would not end up here. Now if I believe it is God's plan for my grandparents to migrate, what's wrong with it being God's plan for these people - and us - to migrate?
And really, is it really all that bad back home and all that good here? Down underneath it all, we all know that it is not. As I have said before, there are good and there are bad in both.
The reality, the heart of it all, I suspect, is this - that in a globalised world, people have moved away from nationalism to globalism. Nationalism defined the world for the past 200 years. Globalism, for all its good as well as bad and ugly, is what is defining the world today, whether we like it or not. So, to many people, the world is my home. The other reality is that for this generation at least, respect and loyalty is earned. Leaders are not respected simply because they are leaders; they have to earn the respect of their followers; and I suspect this is so because too many leaders have betrayed the trust and respect of their followers in the past. It is the same with countries and governments - patriotism has to be earned, and for the same reasons - too many governments have abused the patriotism of the populace for their own personal gain. If we fail to recognise this, we are deluding ourselves in believing and insisting that the populace would continue to suffer and die for the countries which have thus far betrayed their loyalty and patriotism for so long in the first place.
These are not justifications for us who have left. These are also not pointing fingers. This is what is going on in the heart and mind of many of those who have left one country for another. If we want people to stay back and change the country instead of leaving, we would have to know this and do something about it. Getting angry and calling names are not going to help.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Settling in
In more than one ways, we are blessed. Things seem to have been worked out even before we arrived. A colleague returned from Melbourne, and introduced me to his previous boss, and so I found a job here. Friends from church who have come here a few years before were all eager and keen to help out. My brother moved here a year before us; a cousin who did not return after studying here. We found help all around. Praise God for that.
Well, we are slightly better settled in now. Rented a place, as we mentioned before, and here are some pictures on the place we are renting.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Back to civilisation
After more than a week in the "no internet" wilderness, I am glad to be back to civilisation and connection with the rest of the world.
So what has happened over the last 10 days? Well, we have had a good and safe journey. Just a word of advice for anyone flying Air Asia, don't bother to purchase any inflight meals, just buy the instant noodle.
Anyway, the first thing that hit us when we arrived was the Cold. It is still very cold here, with the howling wind and drizzle all day long.
The children started school. We spent a week getting things done - medicare, driver licence, furnishing the house etc etc.
The house looks slightly better than before - it was totally empty. We live a bit far off town, so without a car it is really impossible to get around. Thank God that my cousin's husband lends us a car to get around.
School here is different, the kids are still getting use to the system and the culture.
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