Luxury or civility

The other day in church, a lady who has been here for many years remarked that new migrants are unwilling to turn up the heating in the house to save money. Well, that just shouldn't be. She said.

We drive Toyota; one of our friends, another migrant of many years, commented that it's "standard new migrant's configuration".

Another migrant sniggered at the kia-su attitude of Asian parents in giving their kids loads of tuition.

We look down on some who don't queue; or those who rush to get into the lift by elbowing everyone out.

On the other hand, Belinda told me of foreign dentists working as training dental nurses, trying to scramble enough money to sit for their dental qualifying exam by doing jobs that pay next to nothing. Both husband and wife work for three to four years to save up enough money for one of them to sit for the exam. Passing rate? Less than 15%. And they are here with only a temporary work visa.

I learned this lesson whilst in China. I commented that the locals did not bother to queue. The tour guide told me quietly that living is not easy, and competition is fierce in almost every area. If you don't fight for it, you won't even have meals on your table.

That set me thinking - and set me feeling ashamed of myself. Bottom line is, some of the things we consider as civility is a luxury to many.

Many new migrants here cannot find a job, even after many years; and everything here is expensive, especially after so much initial spending to settle in. Can they afford day-round heating? Can they afford any other cars that the reliable, low maintenance, cheap cars?

Can kids in Asia take a relax attitude towards their studies? Even some of the best don't get to do what they want to do. They are faced not only with competitions from other kids, but also an unfair system that discriminate against them on the basis of skin colour. How can they be lax?

In this place, we are laid back on many things, and civil in many more other. To us, these are blessings; to the vast majority, these are luxury. They are not what set us apart as better than others, they are what we should share with those who cannot afford them.