Mum

My mother was born in a small town in Pahang. It is a beautiful colonial town, situated on the slopes of the Titiwangsa ranges - the spine of ranges that run north-south and split the Peninsula Malaysia into its eastern and western halves.

There are barely two rows of shophouses in town, and the one-way road encircle the town as though it is a giant round about. The giant roundabout of shophouses is split right in the middle by Cross Street, a pedastrian walk path lines both sides by little shops and hawker stalls.

Mum was born in Cross Street.

She grew up in Cross Street; one of 8 daughters and 2 sons.

She was given up for adoption in Cross Street, if not for her eldest brother who came home after school and took her back in a bus that was about to move on the top end of Cross Street.

She grew up in Cross Street; took her daily bath in the river at the bottom of Cross Street.

She fought with her siblings for food in Cross Street, and met up with her friends in Cross Street.

She fell in love in Cross Street, and got married in Cross Street.

Her children were born there, and from there she sent them off to study overseas.

They settle far from Cross Street, many hours away.

And they visit her less and less often, and move farther and farther away.

Mum has grown up and grown old in Cross Street. But she has not grown further from her children wherever they are.

Friends and Moving on

Just came back from Pahang. Have been visiting some of our friends there once a month for the past many years.

I remember when I first visited them with Charles. I am more than glad that their lives have become much better over the last decade.

And I told them about the family's going.

There was a tinge of sadness there and then.

After the church service, on the way back, I had to fight to hold back tears.

What keeps me here is not the food - yes, char koay teow is nice, nasi bryani is great, and mee mamak is superb. Not to mention beef noodle, Hokkien fried noodle, Penang Prawn noodle, nasi lemak ...

Yes, the place is great. The Klang valley has more than 3 million people, about the size of Melbourne, but it is as as green as Melbourne. I have visited Singapore, Hong Kong, Taipei, Shanghai, Bangkok, Jakarta, Dhaka (in Bangladesh), Vientianne (Laos), Tokyo, Lyon, Paris ..., I still prefers the Klang Valley. Honestly, even Paris and Lyon are not as green as PJ/KL, believe it or not.

But what holds us back is the people. Colleagues. Relatives. Family. Friends.

I shall miss them. I told them if and when we come back, we will try to make a trip. They smiled. They knew better. That once life has torn our paths apart, there is barely any chance for us to meet again. And time will ensure that we move on with our lives.

Suddenly, the phrase "move on" seems so ugly.

Caught up by Prayer

Many things happened. My 5 year-old Twinhead gave up her wifi. My Ixus 75 camera died on me. How time passes. And another one and a half months, we will be gone. How time flies.

Well, the whole world finally knows. I was told it was even announced in a chuh conference last weekend that we are going back to Melbourne. I am flattered. Didn't realise anyone would be bother whether we are here or not.

Oh! Yes, it is official. We are flying on 1st August 2009. But don't bother to come, we are flying Air Asia and I heard (not that I know for sure) that the LCCT is not that comfortable compared to KLIA.

There were lots of different reactions to us going. From encouraging to discouraging. From "Do you know Australia has changed a lot over the last 15 years" to "You will be disappointed". Well, the good thing, or the good side is, that most people seem to miss us. I guess it just means that at least we have not done too much harm in the lives of those around us.

Praise God for that.

Honestly, too many questions, and often not enough time to answer.

The commonest question is, "Why do you want to go back?"

Yeah, well, I ask myself the same question, too. You know, sometimes I wake up in the morning, and when I realise that in just another 6 weeks or so we will be packing up and going, I tell myself, I must be nuts to leave all these.

There is so much here for me. Job. Church. Friends. Family. Home. Relatives. Lifestyle. Food. You name it, we've got it here.

Yes, I must be mad to leave all these behind and go.

So, why am I going, then?

Well. It started even before I came back here.

I guess many of you know that I came back (from Melbourne in 1994 to Malaysia, that is) kicking and crying. Yes, I didn't want to come back when I finished there. I prayed and prayed. And I thought God said this to me, "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you." (Gen 28:15).

Reluctantly I came back, and settled here. From Mentakab to Seremban to KL, life went on and God has been good to me. Belinda and I got married, we have two kids. We bought our own place. I passed my exams. My career is going on well. My future looks bright in spite of the general gloom and doom.

I planned to settle down here in PJ.

I guess finally my prayer 15 years ago caught up with me. I am not sure if I want to stay back in Melbourne as much as I did 15 years ago. Or even half as much as I did.

But, it caught up with me.

There are so much unknown awaiting me there. Awaiting us there.

What about my job? My qualification? Would it be recognised? Would I need to re-sit my exam? What about the kids? Would they fit in? Would they be happy? What about church? Peer influence? Finances? A roof over our head? Food on the table?

And finally, is it really worth it to throw all that we have here to try out there?

Honestly, I don't know. But my prayer caught up with me. And all that I have to hold on to is, the One who answers my prayer is faithful, merciful and gracious.

And with that, I find peace.

Earth Hour

29th March 2009, 8:30 - 9:30 pm is Earth Hour. Sydney started to switch off all its light on 31st March 2007; and what started from one city has spread all over the world.



My teenage daughter is very keen on it and has been talking about it for the past one week. My slightly younger son is totally unconcerned.

We spent the hour in a local mall, not being able to live without modern amenities and electricity. We bought a few books and came home about a quarter of an hour early. Out of the twenty or so houses in the vicinity of our house, only a handful turned off their lights. I noticed that it was the houses with teenage girls that participated. Perhaps it was a co-incident; perhaps I should not read too much into this; but somehow I couldn't stop to wonder, is it being boys not to be concerned?

After what this generation has done in wrecking the environment and the earth, it is good to know that the next generation is concerned. Kind of remind me what the last few generations have gone through:

fifties - the era of tv and big band music
sixties - the era of freedom
seventies - hedonism?
eighties - money and finances
nineties - chaos and lawlessness?
the new millennium - hopefully one that returns to caring for what we have so wantonly squandered.

I will give you rest

I was pretty stressed out over the past few days. With a tonne of work hanging over my head, an idiot should smashed into my car and destroyed the left front panel. Praise God that no one was injured, and the guy's brown Toyata Hilux spared my front wheel. Took me a weekend and some $$$ to get it repaired. And back at work, I was literally snowed over; inundated, drowned in the amount of work on my table. 

Then last night, in my quiet time, this verse came to me, "My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." (Exodus 33:14).

The wonderful thing is God has promised us strength and grace that equals our day; and he is our rest and peace. 

Life, according to Bill Gates ...

My wife alerted me to this column in the Star by Dina Zaman on 29th February 2009 in which Dina quoted some "truths" that Bill Gates supposedly said to a bunch of American kids. I thought these were interesting:



Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it.

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something you feel good about yourself.

Rule 4: (and this is for my kids and other kids in Chinese schools) If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger-flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, our parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were ....

Rule 11: Be nice to neards. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Farewell, Markus

There are many things we will never understand on this side of heaven. Death is one of them. I recently went to a friend's son's funeral. It was painful, heart-rending to see the faces of the parents, families and friends as a fine young man was laid to rest. 

Markus in anyway, any yard stick, was an incredible young man. His death is more than a tragedy for many of us who know him. Yet, the nagging question is still - why? Why him, God? Why such a fine young man who was doing so much for so many people around him? Just google his name, and you will find lists and lists of websites on him. 

In many ways, there are no reasons for tragedies. Sometimes things occur because we make the wrong choice, do the wrong things. Sometimes we suffer because someone else do something bad. At other times, bad things just happened. 

To quote Mel Gibson as William Wallace in Braveheart, "Everyone has to die, but everyone lives."

Markus, you really lived.